Loss is one of the most painful experiences we face in life, yet it’s inevitable. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, losing a job, or any other major upheaval, at some point, we all find ourselves navigating the deep, disorienting waves of loss.

If you’re in that place right now, I want you to know this: You are not alone. And no matter how impossible it feels, you will get through this.

While we can’t prevent loss, we can rebuild. Humans are remarkably resilient, and though the road ahead won’t be easy, with the right mindset and support, you will come back stronger.

Having faced my fair share of loss and setbacks, I know firsthand how overwhelming it can feel to start over. After years of personal experience and working with clients, I’ve noticed a common mistake that holds many people back when trying to rebuild their lives.

In this week’s article and YouTube video, I’ll reveal what you shouldn’t do after a major life change and what to focus on instead.

What NOT To Do When Starting Over

When everything falls apart, we feel totally overwhelmed and fearful because our minds seek familiarity and routine, not uncertainty and change. So we try to regain control, scrambling to fix everything as fast as possible. 

But when dealing with a huge loss, it’s impossible to fix things overnight.

Loss, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a divorce, or a job redundancy, means that life, as we know it, is over. We cannot return to our old life. We must rebuild a new version of ourselves, which takes time.

Trying to fix everything at once or as quickly as possible just leads to more stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. 

What’s more, in these challenging situations, we often lack clarity. We don’t know what the future holds, and that’s ok because we don’t need to have all the answers right away.

5 Simple Strategies To Rebuilding Your Life

Instead, we should acknowledge the chaos and embrace the rebuilding process. When we accept that things will take time, we free ourselves from the pressure to be perfect. 

So, let’s start with that first step – acceptance.

1. Accept Where You Are

If our situation is painful or frustrating, we will likely feel a sense of resistance. It may feel impossible to comprehend that something so huge has happened. But the truth is, the quicker we can accept it, the faster we can start to rebuild. 

Now, acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It means acknowledging what’s happened and deciding to move forward anyway. 

Acceptance also doesn’t mean that what has happened doesn’t matter. If a loved one has passed away, accepting the situation doesn’t mean you don’t care or are already moving on. And if you are dealing with grief, know that acceptance takes time. You don’t need to force it. Instead, be kind to yourself during your path to acceptance. 

That being said, from my personal experience of dealing with loss, there was one exercise that helped me begin to accept the situation I was in.

I wrote down three things in my life that I couldn’t control at that moment. Then, I wrote down three things I could control.

This helped me realize that I wasn’t completely helpless and there were still parts of my life that I had control over. For example, I could control my mindset, my daily habits, and my level of self-compassion.

Focusing on what was within my power helps me feel more grounded and empowered to take the next step…

2. Rebuild Your Vision

Rebuilding your vision after a huge loss or setback can feel overwhelming. You might have lost your sense of identity, or your priorities may have drastically shifted, leaving you unsure of what you now want.

That’s why I suggest starting small. Rather than trying to set goals immediately, focus on identifying or reconnecting with your values. 

One way you can do this is by creating a vision board with images representing the most important things to you. This will give you a visual idea of what your future could look like and, thus, more clarity around what your first steps should be…

3. Take Small, Consistent Steps

Once you’ve gained some clarity, you can start taking small steps forward. How, forget trying to plan out your entire year. Instead, focus on the next few days or the current week. 

Ask yourself, what is one micro-goal I can set for today or this week?

Make sure it’s something achievable, like signing up for a class, updating your resume, or sending an email. According to behavioral science, small wins like this build momentum and motivation, which encourage us to keep going during a challenging time. 

4. Reframe Setbacks as Opportunities

We often see setbacks as failures because they bring some initial discomfort. For example, losing your job triggers financial anxiety and general uncertainty about the future. 

But the truth is, no matter what has happened, there is usually a tiny silver lining if you look hard enough.

For example, losing a job could free you up to take a new opportunity more aligned with your values. Or getting injured and being unable to work could give you the time to study that skill or language you’ve always wanted to learn. 

This skill of cognitive reappraisal is definitely not easy. But once you’re able to shift your mindset and look for possibilities in the chaos, you go from victim to victor.

5. Build a Support System

One of the biggest lessons I gained when everything fell apart in my life was how crucial social support and connection are, and research backs this up, too.

Studies show that social support improves resilience and mental health during major life transitions. And if you think about it, it’s just common sense – everything feels more manageable when you’re not doing it alone.

So, my final tip for rebuilding your life after a loss or setback is to seek support. This could be through a support group, a therapist, or a close friend. 

It can be particularly helpful to lean on someone who has experience with what you are going through. Learning about someone else’s comeback can help you see that healing and growth are totally possible for you, too!

Final Thoughts

Starting over is not about having all the answers; it’s about accepting where you are, trusting the process, and taking small, intentional steps.

To dive deeper into these 5 strategies, watch the full video episode here:

I’d love to know which strategy you’re most excited to try? Leave a comment below to let me know!

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