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Podcast

Transforming Your Beliefs About Money

December 31, 2019

I’m Kim.
I’m an M.D.-turned-coach and I’m dedicated to helping you build your dream career + lifestyle. Welcome to my blog, where I write (and podcast) about wellness, business + success!
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Many women have a love-hate relationship with money, and many of us hold on to a lot of old stories and mindset blocks that hold us back from stepping into a first-class life of abundance and wealth.

Today I’m going to walk you through a process to help you transform your beliefs about money because there’s a VERY good chance you’ve got some beliefs that are just not serving you — and worse, may very well be standing in your way of creating success in your coaching business. 

In this post and podcast episode, you’ll discover…

  • What your own money story actually is. (We’ll talk about how to examine your money belief system — because we ALL have money beliefs, whether we’re aware of it or not.)
  • How your money belief systems are holding you back
  • 3 unbelievably common money mistakes—including one counterintuitive change women tend to resist (but MUST make if they want to succeed). 
  • And then I’m going to discuss how to change your deeply held beliefs and expand your money mindset, which will pave the way for more abundance and wealth in your business.

This is one of my favorite topics because I love empowering women to uplevel their money mindset, to stop thinking of “wealthy” as a dirty word, and to create the prosperous life of their dreams. 

By the way, if you’d prefer to listen to this topic than read it…you can do that right here:

Now, you may not know what I’m talking about when I say “money mindset”. And it IS a very vague, sweeping term, but it refers to the general way we each approach money, think about money, interact with money, invest money, and attract money. All of those aspects…and more, really.

I actually had no idea how much work I had to do in the arena of money mindset until I really started learning what it was all about, a couple of years ago, and then began to understand how many issues I actually did have, and how much it was holding me back.

So this is something that, to be honest, I’m STILL working on — and in fact, I imagine I will always be working on, especially at each new income level…so I am not perfect in this regard, but like I say, it IS one of my favorite things to talk about, and help clients with. 

So let’s dive in.

The time I almost rejected the call

I recently went to a conference in Las Vegas…it was a coaching conference for women, very high-end, very expensive, and a ton of fun. 

I decided to upgrade to business class for my flight home after the conference…and the universe rewarded me for that decision, even though I almost didn’t do it. 

So during this conference, we were asked to come up with a specific lifestyle goal that would represent our biggest aspirations, and formulate into a manifestation statement, and then we walked around the room, talking to at least 10 people we hadn’t spoken with yet, and exchanged our manifestation statements. What I said to 10 different strangers, out loud for the first time ever, was that I intended to always fly business class. At that point, I had only flown business class once, and it was a free upgrade, one of those fantasy dream-come-true things, on a flight from London to Vancouver. It was 9 hours of bliss and I’ve never been the same.

So, when I checked into my flight to head home, and I was given the choice to pay an extra $250 to upgrade to business class. Now I’ve checked in to dozens of flights, and I always just click by this option when it’s offered. But this time I hesitated. I had literally just spoken my intention aloud, to a whole bunch of people, that I was going to fly business class. And here I was being offered the option. 

So why was I even hesitating?

I’ve done a ton of work on my money mindset and my wealth consciousness in recent years, but clearly this was a piece I still had to work on. And I realized it ALL had to do with my identity. 

When I looked inside, I realized I had a story that said that “business class was for other people”. It was for people who were way wealthier than me, or who were very high up in a company that was paying for the trip, or whatever.

And I didn’t even realize I had this story, until I was faced with that little option, that step on my check-in process, that asked me if I wanted to upgrade.

And I almost rejected the call, because of my mindset as someone who hadn’t necessarily earned the right to be in business class yet. I could manage the $250, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I still had an old story about money going around in my mind. I did not yet have the identity of someone who flies business class. It was so interesting.

And once I recognized what was going on, I clicked YES, I paid the money, I upgraded.

And OMG it was the best decision I ever made. For one thing, you could not wipe the grin off my face for the entire flight. ????

…and then, the very next day: I had a brand new client come to me out of the blue, and enroll in one of my private coaching packages, and pay in full.

Now, the old me would have said this was a coincidence. The scientific me. The logical me. But…the new me (although she’s not actually the new me, she is the original me, the OG me) she is all: that was NO coincidence, sweetheart. 

So that’s my first take-home message. If you want to make money — and I bet you do — the very first thing that needs to happen is you need to bring your money mindset to a whole new level. I know you might be thinking … what I need to do is make money first, and then I’ll have an upgraded  money mindset .. but the truth is, it’s got to be the other way around. Because unless you have an abundant money mindset, you will be BLOCKING your own ability to make money. But don’t worry, I’m going to explain all that as we go.

What is your money story?

Everyone has a belief system about the basics in life: For example, about religion. You can probably put a name to your own personal religious belief system—even if it happens to be agnostic or atheist.

Money beliefs are the same, except nobody really talks about it, certainly nobody gives names to different money belief systems, and many people aren’t even really aware of their money beliefs.

We all have stories that we repeat to ourselves (and to other people), whether we realize it or not…especially when it comes to money.

And it’s important to begin to see these stories for what they are: STORIES. They are not the truth…but the more we repeat them to ourselves, consciously and unconsciously, the more we make them be the truth.

Basically, they become self-fulfilling prophecies.

These money stories are often ones we absorbed in childhood or early life…but they follow us into adulthood, and that’s where they sabotage us financially.

What I want to do today is help you find your individual money story: Then help you re-set it, so you can change hidden self-defeating habits and claim your financial power. When you can tell yourself a powerful, true new story—one you can believe in—that’s when the magic will finally start to happen.

To get started, let’s take a look at common money beliefs that trip people up.

COMMON CORE BELIEFS AROUND MONEY

  1. Money doesn’t grow on trees
  2. Money is evil
  3. I am poor but at least I’m a good person
  4. Money is in short supply
  5. Money only comes from hard work
  6. Rich people are greedy and dishonest
  7. Rich people are seldom happy
  8. Money is something other people have
  9. I’m no better than my parents, so I shouldn’t make more than they did
  10. I cannot handle or manage money well
  11. If I’m successful, my friends will be jealous and stop liking me
  12. Only dreamers think they can get rich but I am a realist
  13. I feel safe being poor. It is dangerous to be rich
  14. The more money I have, the more problems I will have
  15. It’s impossible to have it all

So do any of these resonate with you? This is not a complete list — there are many more than this. You will probably have many others of your own. 

But money beliefs are often buried deep in your subconscious. These are usually so deep, they go back a long way: Maybe even back to childhood.

Often, these beliefs are not even yours. They’re beliefs you inherited from parents and grandparents.

So let’s take a closer look at one of these. The story that: MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.

If you heard this one growing up (and I suspect almost all of us did), let’s take a look, and get curious about it: is this true?

Is Money Evil?

As Jen Sincero says: “Money is a unit of measurement used in the act of giving and receiving. Contrary to popular belief, money itself is neither good nor bad, friend nor foe, filthy nor clean — it’s just blank, minding its own business. Money is just the messenger. It’s what you do with it and how you think, feel, and speak about it that give it a personality. And depending on the personality you give it, you’re either gonna want to surround yourself with it or stay the hell away from it.”

Really think about that. Because the truth is, Money is NEUTRAL. 

It’s the currency of our world, how we exchange goods.

It’s not “evil”.

And to believe this story is only going to harm you, because if you BELIEVE this story, that money is evil, then you’re going to be pushing it away. You’re going to have a split energy about it, and you’re going to resist it on a day-to-day, moment by moment basis.

A similar story is when you say things like “I’d rather be happy than rich”. When you say that, you’re only sabotaging yourself because you’re making it mean that you can’t have both.

Where is it written that you can only be one or the other? Who created this law?

To me, those things are very independent. Personally, I take a stand for the AND. Why not be rich AND happy? 

Another typical money story is the DOOMED story. Like “I never win anything.” Or “I can never hold onto money.”

These statements reflect very disempowered “victim” mindset. 

And that’s a problem, because stories have the power to affect your everyday microdecisions. 

If you believe you’re financially “doomed”, you’re not going to take a risk or put yourself out there because…what’s the point? It’s never going to work, right?

And of course, I’m going to spoil the ending here..because if you ACT that way, guess what will happen? Yep, you’ll never achieve the financial success you want. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You MAKE it be the truth, which then gives your brain the opportunity to be all “See? I knew I had bad luck when it comes to money.” because you have literally created the evidence to support the belief you started with.

Women, in particular, have a lot of problematic money stories. Many of us have grown up with various insidious messages about how it’s totally okay—in fact, more than okay—for a man to be ambitious. But for a woman? 

One thing I noticed when I was sitting in that business class section a couple of weeks ago, in our 12-person section, there were only 2 other women!

Ladies, we can do better than that.

I think I’ve created a new mission for myself, to empower women to take over business class. Who’s with me?

3 common money mistakes that arise out of your problematic money stories

Let’s dig a little deeper and take a look at how these money stories that we’ve been talking about can actually get in your way. How they can block you and sabotage your financial success.

Let’s take a look at 3 common money mistakes that I see women making all the time … that are direct results of low-vibe money stories — and it’s the kind of stuff that’s keeping us out of that business class cabin.

Mistake #1: DOING IT ALL YOURSELF

When women have a money story that making money is hard…that often leads them into kind of a slave-girl space, where you’re working like a dog, doing everything yourself, without outsourcing. Because underneath everything you’re resisting the more ease-ful path. You’re operating with a mentality that says you’ve got to HUSTLE — because everybody likes to say that these days — you need to work hard in order to deserve your money. 

So you don’t get help. You don’t delegate. You don’t outsource.

And that’s a setup not only for burnout, but also for bottlenecking your own financial success.

See how that works?

Instead, I encourage my clients to ask themselves — how easy can I let this be? 

Getting help, support, outsourcing, finding an assistant who can help you — which will actually free you to do more high-ticket work–that’s the CEO way. 

There’s something about women that makes us want to martyr ourselves. Do it all our on our own — possibly because we CAN — but also because we believe we SHOULD. 

But take a look at this. Are you doing all the tasks that someone else could do, for a lower fee than you could charge when you’re working in your own zone of genius — that would open up that bottleneck?

This might look like hiring a bookkeeper so you’re not doing those menial tasks yourself. Hiring an assistant who can manage your business emails. Or maybe it’s getting more help at home to free you up to work in your business more. Sure you CAN do the laundry, but if you can hire someone to do it for you, for a fraction of what you can make in your business in the same amount of time…isn’t that the smarter thing to do?

Money Mistake #2: UNDERCHARGING

This is a biggie, and it afflicts women entrepreneurs in particular.

And SO many of my clients suffer this problem when we start working together. Feeling like newbies, or worse — impostor syndrome — they undercharge, and choke off their own success. Then they’re working too hard for too little reward, getting burned out, etc.

A woman I met at the conference in Vegas last month is an esthetician in LA. She gave an amazing facial, full service, including reiki, and several years ago she was charging $42 for it.

Until one of her clients, who happened to be a business coach, told her she was WAY undercharging, and told her what she needed to do was create packages. Said she should charge $3000 for her facial packages—not just a one-off but a complete, full service, multi-pack. With all the bells and whistles. At first, of course, she thought it was crazy. But she worked with this coach to put together a really great package, and did some work on her mindset, on owning her worth and having the confidence to charge those rates…and she found the boldness to put that package up on her website.

A week later, she got a call from a TV network. They wanted to book her on contract … had a big offer to make her to be the facialist for the network. And the reason they said: they had been checking out a variety of estheticians in the area, and her packages were the most expensive and that was what they wanted. The MOST expensive.

She told me she now has a “very expensive life”. It completely changed the trajectory of her whole life.  

You NEVER know. But what I can tell you for sure is that there are some people who are SPECIFICALLY looking for the most expensive thing. That an inexpensively priced service or item makes them nervous, they’ll feel like it’s not going to be very good, and they’ll keep looking.

Someone needs to charge the premium prices. Why not you? 

Money Mistake #3: REFUSING TO INVEST

Another unnecessary act of sabotage we inflict on ourselves: Nickel-and-Diming and refusing to invest in ourselves and our businesses.

This might look like spending a lot of time dabbling in your business, trying to learn what you need to learn in a piecemeal way…downloading freebies or inexpensive ebooks or courses from a bunch of different sources, trying to patch together a marketing strategy and never really finishing the courses because they weren’t quite right … and being no further ahead after a year…instead of investing in a premium program with exactly the right coach….which enables you to leapfrog ahead in your business — and ahead of the competition.

It also might look like not investing in your own health and wellbeing. Getting cheaper food and lower-quality produce, instead of investing in the good stuff, the organic veggies…because we all know how that’s going to go, when your health suffers how can you possibly be performing to your best, and most productive self?

Or maybe it’s trying to DIY your website because it’s the cheapest way to go, even though it’s not exactly your zone of genius, which means you’ve spent countless hours and your website still looks kind of amateur-ish…rather than investing in a designer, letting someone who specializes in that take care of it and at the end you have a gorgeous, high-end website that supports your brand, and attracts those high-end clients who will happily pay your premium prices.

Clearly, all these things are acts of sabotage, and are blocks to your own success. Plus, it’s hard to feel confident charging your clients top rates or when you are reinforcing this message to yourself over and over. 

And worst of all, when you don’t invest in yourself you send yourself a huge message, reinforcing it over and over. That message is…

“I don’t deserve to be wealthy. I don’t deserve to be happy. I don’t deserve success.”

This is why ‘budget-class’ thinking will definitely keep you stuck.

Instead, I want you to cultivate A PLATINUM STATE OF MIND.

Invest in the right, high value tools and resources—and real self-care. Send yourself the message, “I’m worth it.”

Now, spending money that you don’t feel like you have yet can be scary, for sure. Taking these types of risks is about being in charge of your life rather than being a victim. It’s about having faith in the Universe, and yourself.

And here’s the deal: You don’t get anywhere sitting around inside your comfort zone.

I’m not talking about spending money you don’t have, recklessly, living beyond your means, digging a deep hole for yourself with a mindset of fear and denial and no real drive or plan to pay it off. That’s not a good idea. I’m talking about being strategic–and INVESTING in yourself and your future. 

Money is a renewable resource. It comes and it goes. In contrast, what isn’t renewable is time. 

When I knew it was time for me to level-up in my business…I made the decision to invest in real support. To stop dabbling and go all in. I invested MUCH more than I ever thought I would in coaching and programs that were specifically designed to take me to the next level..and every time, I committed to myself to do everything my coaches told me to do, to make the money back, and each time I earned back what I had invested within months…and kept on growing from there. 

How to fix your money story & expand your money mindset

So what can you do about this? How do you begin to fix your money story so you can expand your money mindset…and open up to abundance?

For starters, it’s important to recognize that you are the only one who can change your money story. Your mother can’t change it. Your partner can’t change it. Your clients can’t change it. 

You are the only one with the power to change your money story from a negative, disempowered one to a positive, action-driven story. And if you stop to really think about this, it’s a really wonderful reality!

So how do you go about doing this?

It starts with observing your thoughts. Really paying attention to what you’re telling yourself, what the STORIES you’re SELLING yourself are, and starting to catch yourself. It’s not easy at first, because it’s just so ingrained in our psyches, but once you START to do it, it becomes easier, and pretty soon you’ll be amazed at how many negative, self-defeating thought patterns are spinning around your head all day long.

Then, once you’ve become a more skilled observer of your own thoughts, the next step is to begin to examine those thoughts and CHANGE the negative tape.

Psychologists used to call this “changing the tape”, back in the days when people used tape recorders (who remembers making mixtapes?) and what they now call re-framing.

Re-framing refers to taking a negative thought and belief, and transforming it into a more realistic, healthy and positive thought: One that inspires action, rather than depression and just being stuck in an old, unhelpful story.

Let’s take the money mistake of undercharging, as an example.

As we’ve discussed, this money block often comes out of unrecognized, negative mantras, perhaps something like the thought “I’m a newbie online”. This can instantly create a low deserve level when it comes to setting prices. 

So once you’ve discovered that that’s your thought underneath everything…then you need to change that repetitive negative tape or thought and replace it with one that is more realistic and more positive.

So…the three-step process:

1.      Name that ‘old tape’ thought

2.      Take the emotion out of it and describe the situation realistically

3.      Change that message into a positive, reality-based message

In our example…

Old tape: “I’m a newbie. I can’t charge big bucks yet.”

Reality: “I am capable of providing what is needed, but people just don’t know me yet.”

Reframed thought: “I deserve to charge what my services are worth as much as any other expert in my field.”

Do this for any old tape that holds you back, or keeps you stuck at the same income level; or gives you that ‘doomed’ feeling: Thoughts such as “others become superstars, but it’s just not in me”. CHANGE THE TAPE!

Change your negative money story to a new, empowered one that works.

Here’s another example, instead of saying: “I can’t raise my prices: Clients will leave!” take the next step and ask yourself: “Is that a realistic statement?”

Then examine your answer, and don’t stop until you come up with a realistic conclusion such as: “I can’t control what my clients do. Raising my prices may drive away clients who can’t afford me, but they are not my ideal clients anyway. This will leave room for a client who CAN pay and DOES appreciate me.”

WHAT’S NEXT?

So I’m hoping I gave you lots to think about, and lots to work on … and believe me, it’s definitely a project…and that’s okay! 

But if you’re interested in taking the next step on your own money mindset journey, I’ve put together a free workbook for you. It’s my Money Mindset Makeover workbook. It’s a 25-page workbook with tons of prompts and questions and a step-by-step method for making over your money mindset, and it’s really an extension of everything we talked about today.

To grab that workbook, click here and you can download it for free.

Ready to plan your next steps in your wellness business? LET’S HOP ON A CONSULTATION CALL! LEARN MORE HERE

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