Design a Life You Love: The Step-by-Step Shift to Intentional Living

There’s an old story that always sticks in my mind about a traveler who comes across three bricklayers hard at work. 

The traveler approaches the first bricklayer and asks, “What are you doing?” The worker replies, “I’m laying bricks.” He asks the second guy the same thing, who says, “I’m building a wall.” Then he asks the third bricklayer, who smiles and says, “I’m building a cathedral.”

Same task but wildly different perspectives. The third bricklayer isn’t just stacking bricks, he’s driven by a larger purpose.

Many of us spend our days like the first two bricklayers, focused on the immediate task, ticking off items from our to-do lists, and just trying to get through the day. 

But what if there’s more to life than just laying bricks? What if you could build your own “cathedral”?

It’s hard to get out of living on autopilot when you’re stuck in the grind. Trust me, I’ve been there. 

That’s why, this week, I’m sharing how to shift your focus, find intention, and start creating a life that inspires you.

Step 1: Identify Your Autopilot Triggers

How often do you get into bed at night and wonder where the time went that day? 

When I was working as a family doctor, I had this experience a lot. I would struggle to remember any of the conversations I’d had with patients because, for most of the day, I had zoned out and was working on autopilot.

Living on autopilot may seem harmless, and sometimes even necessary, but over time it can leave you feeling disconnected and stuck, like your life is missing meaning.

So, for the first step, I want you to ask yourself, “How much of your life are YOU sleepwalking through?”

Spend a week tracking your day. Notice how often you’re fully engaged and how much you zone out. 
By identifying your autopilot triggers, you can interrupt your automatic habitual patterns and replace them with more meaningful, intentional choices.

Step 2: Clarify What Really Matters

Do you feel like you’re always running around doing something yet never achieving anything meaningful? 

This happens when we focus on what’s urgent instead of what’s truly important. We let other people’s priorities, deadlines, and distractions dictate our time, losing sight of what matters most.

I used to see this a lot in my coaching clients. They were overwhelmed, juggling work, kids, and their households, and completely burned out. 

When I asked what they wanted for themselves, most couldn’t answer—not because they lacked dreams, but because they’d never allowed themselves the space to prioritize them.

That’s why it’s so crucial to clarify your values. 

Take time to reflect on the five most important things in your life. Think back to when you felt proud or fulfilled—those moments reveal your non-negotiables.

Create a list of your core values and put it somewhere you will see it often, like on the fridge. Revisit this list each week – It will help you stay grounded and aligned with what truly matters!

Step 3: Practice Mindful Decision-Making

When I first started out in my coaching business, I said yes to every opportunity, every favor, and every invitation.

Why?

Because I believed that being helpful and agreeable would make me more valuable. 

But the more I said yes, the more drained I felt. It wasn’t until I started pausing before committing that I realized the importance of boundaries.

Every time we say yes to something that doesn’t matter, we say no to something that does. Living in this unintentional way leaves us burnt out, resentful, and lacking energy for what truly matters.

This brings me to step 3: Practicing mindful decision-making.

Before you say yes to any request, pause and ask yourself: Does this move me closer to the life I want? 

If the answer is no, give yourself permission to say no. Saying no isn’t selfish—it’s how you make room for what truly matters.

Step 4: Build Tiny Rituals For Presence

We’re all guilty of rushing through life and barely noticing what’s happening around us. 

This constant state of distraction is one of the biggest struggles of modern life. We’re pulled in a million directions, always thinking about the next thing, and it’s nearly impossible to savor the moment when your mind is somewhere else.

However, creating small rituals for presence can help you counteract the chaos of daily life and anchor you in the moment.

Here are a few simple tiny rituals you can try: 

• Start every morning with 5 deep breaths or a quick gratitude practice. 
• Focus on the sensory details when preparing or eating food and drink —the smell, the warmth, the sound. 
• Take a 10-minute tech-free walk each day (no headphones) and notice the sights and sounds around you.
• Pause for a mindful moment during transitions—like before starting your car—and set an intention for what comes next.

These micro-rituals may seem small, but they can make a big difference in helping you slow down and truly experience life.

Step 5: Envision Your Cathedral

Remember the story of the three bricklayers?

If you’re building a wall without knowing why, this final tip is for you.

Without a vision, it’s easy to lose motivation and direction. Life becomes a blur of tasks with no bigger picture to give them meaning. 

But having a vision changes everything. 

Suddenly, even the mundane tasks feel purposeful because they’re part of something greater. You’re no longer just laying bricks—you’re building a cathedral. 

So, think about the life you truly want to build. Close your eyes and imagine it in detail…

What does it look like? Who are you with? What are you doing? How do you feel? 

Visualize your dream future with as much detail as you can, then write it down. This becomes your blueprint for intentional living, which you can revisit whenever you feel lost or overwhelmed.

Final Thoughts

Want to dive deeper into these five steps to intentional living?

Then be sure to check out this week’s YouTube video, where I share practical ways to implement each step in your daily life:

I’d love to hear from you—which of these tips resonated most with you?

Let me know in the comments below, and let’s continue the conversation!

---

---

---