236: Crush Your Fear Of Failure: How To Stop Caring What Others Think

Are you always holding yourself back and avoiding risks due to fear of failure? 

Do you wish you had the confidence to do what you wanted without worrying what others think?

If so, read on. This article will reprogram your mindset so that you can stop caring what people think and start winning.

The truth is, you don’t actually fear failure; you fear looking like a failure.

Think about how you would feel if you chased your dream and failed… 

You would most likely feel judged, embarrassed, and worried that people will think less of you because of it.

That’s because your fear of failure stems from caring what others think of you.

So the solution is simple—stop caring what others think, and you will no longer fear failure. 

Easier said than done? 

Perhaps, but I’ve got your back. In this article, I share 5 effective mindset shifts to overcome fear for good. 

These are the beliefs that people who succeed adopt, allowing them to think differently and not care about others’ opinions.

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Truth 1: Nobody Actually Cares

As humans, we tend to think that people notice everything about us—our messy hair, dirty shoes, and creased clothes.

But this is just a trick our mind plays on us, which science explains through a concept known as the Spotlight Effect.

One of the best research examples of the spotlight effect in play is a study where participants had to wear an embarrassing t-shirt (a t-shirt with a giant photograph of Barry Manilow on it, to be specific). 

The participants had to guess how many people noticed their embarrassing t-shirt, which they estimated at around 50%. The study found that, in fact, only 23% of people noticed the t-shirt, which shows a discrepancy of more than double!

So, what does the data tell us?

We think everyone is watching us, but in reality, most people are too busy worrying about themselves.

And on the subject of data…

Truth 2: Failure is Just Data

Most of us take failure personally. 

If we launch a new product or business that flops, we think, “I’m a failure.” But failing something does not make you a failure.

Failure is simply data telling you what doesn’t work and guiding you towards what does work.

Research backs this up, as studies show entrepreneurs who fail the first time are more likely to succeed the second time IF they try again.

In fact, research that examined records of 2.8 million small retailers in Texas found that the most successful entrepreneurs were those who had launched (and failed) businesses in the past.

This is because they gained valuable lessons and takeaways from their failed business, lowering the risk of failure in their next venture.

So failure is simply data, providing you with lessons and insights on how to pivot and adjust. 

But if you give up after that first failure, you don’t get to make the adjustments and pivots that could lead you to success next time!

This brings me to truth number 3— failure slowly transforms into success.

Truth 3: Play the Long Game

Think back to something you failed at five years ago.

Maybe it was a job interview you bombed, a relationship that ended badly, or a risk you took that didn’t work out.

Does it still haunt you? Does it still feel as massive and devastating as it did at the time?

Probably not.

In fact, you might even laugh now at how big of a deal it felt back then and how much space it took up in your mind.

Psychologists call this affective forecasting—our brain’s (very flawed) attempt to predict how we’ll feel in the future. 

We tend to assume that failure will stick with us forever, that if we fall, we’ll never recover, and that the discomfort will be unbearable and lasting.

But the truth is it fades.

What once felt overwhelming becomes distant, dull, and forgettable.

So ask yourself this: Five years from now, will this thing you’re afraid of even matter?

If the answer is no, then stop letting it control you. Don’t let the fear of temporary discomfort keep you from long-term growth.

Truth 4: Future You Doesn’t Care

Here’s another fascinating finding on the science of failure: the fear of losing something is much stronger than the joy of gaining something.

This concept, called loss aversion, proves that we fear loss more than we desire gain, which is why we struggle to take risks, even when we really want something. 

However, we can overcome this cognitive bias by focusing on our future selves.

Every time you hesitate to take a risk, ask yourself, “What would my future self tell me to do?”

Your future self is much more likely to regret not taking the chance than regret the potential failure because, as we’ve already established, the embarrassment of failure fades.

When you start to act with your future self in mind, you’ll gain more confidence, which brings me to our final truth…

Truth 5: Act Like You Belong

Most people think confidence is something they need before they can take action.

As a result, they wait until they feel ready before they take the leap and start the business or apply for the job. 

But that’s completely backward because confidence doesn’t precede action; it follows it.

The more you do something, the better you get at it. The better you get, the more your confidence grows.

So, if you’re waiting to feel more confident before you take action, you’ll be waiting forever.

The people who succeed don’t wait. They take the leap even if they lack confidence. 

Sure, they stumble and doubt themselves. But they keep going, and their confidence grows with every attempt.

So stop waiting for permission and start acting like you belong. Confidence isn’t handed to you; It’s something you build, one bold step at a time.

Take Action Now!

For a deep dive into these 5 hard-hitting but game changing truths, watch the full video episode:

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Resources:

Here’s where to watch:

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Now, it’s time to put these insights into action. What’s one thing you’ve been avoiding because of fear?

Comment below, then go do it! 

Send the email, make the call, post the video, do whatever you’ve been holding back on.

If you’re still struggling to crush your fear, download my free “Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life” workbook.

Inside, I walk you through the mindset shifts that will help you halt overthinking, silence fear, and finally move forward, no matter how big your goal is!

Resources:

• My Free Workbook: Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life
• My Free Class for Health Coaches: How To Build A 6-Figure Health Coaching Business Using One Signature Program
• Dr. Kim on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drkimfoster/
• My Goal-Setting Planner – The WellPlanned Method™

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