How To Get Better At Sales

January 14, 2020

I’m Kim.
I’m an M.D.-turned-entrepreneur and I’m dedicated to helping you build your dream career + lifestyle. Welcome to my blog, where I write (and podcast) about wellness, business + success!
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In my community I often hear women saying things like “I’m not good at sales” or “I hate promoting myself.”

And if that’s something you’ve heard yourself saying…first, I want you to go back and listen to episode #3 of my podcast which is all about limiting beliefs. Because that’s all these statements are. Big ol’ limiting beliefs that are not serving you, and are in fact holding you back.

But I get it. I get where this is coming from.

Nobody likes being “that person”. The one who is like a used-car salesman, who people avoid at parties, etc.

So I understand. 

At the same time, if you’re building a business for yourself — and I suspect you are — then you are going to need to sell. 

So let’s discuss how to do this in an authentic way that feels GOOD. 

Here’s what we’re going to cover in this post (and the corresponding podcast episode):

  • How to rid yourself of the “I’m not good at sales” limiting belief
  • My 5 tips for improving your sales
  • How to conduct a heart-centered sales call
  • How to eliminate the need to do any selling at all

In my opinion, sales is really an art. It’s something that can be CREATIVE, and it’s something that can be joyful, and it’s also something that can be learned.

I don’t think of it as “overcoming objections” or “closing” sales. Yuck. That doesn’t feel good.

Instead, I like sales that come from the heart, that are authentic. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Making sales in alignment with who you are, and the kind of life and business you want to lead. In alignment with your values. 


So that’s the very first step, and in fact my first tip to help you with sales, and that is, to rid yourself of the “I’m not good at sales” limiting belief.

Again, head over here for more help with that.

Now, that done, let’s move into the next tips. And I have 4 more of them.

So let’s dive in!

By the way, if you’d prefer to listen to this topic than read it…you can do that right here:


If you listened to my episode on money mindset (that was episode #5), you heard me talk about a scarcity mindset versus an abundance mindset. You can go around thinking there are limited amounts of everything — limited money, limited clients, limited opportunities….which means you’ll respond to this mindset from trying to grasp and hoard and grab on to whatever you can get your hands on. 

Or, you can cultivate an abundance mindset. Which means: there’s more than enough of everything, for everyone. More than enough money, opportunities, and clients. 

And when you can really internalize that kind of energy, it will relax you, and release you from the desperation. This particularly comes into play in sales conversations like discovery calls.  You will be released from that desperate need to close a sale with a client you’re talking to. 

Because trust me, the lack or scarcity mindset is a bad energy to have. People can sense it, they can feel it, and it does not feel good. You will be pushing people away, instead of relaxing into the true purpose of the conversation which is to discover—discover if you’re a good fit, discover what they’re struggling with, those kinds of things. 

And the irony here is that of course once you release attachment to the outcome, once you adopt an abundance mindset on a call, you’re more likely to actually make the sale!

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The main thing here is to be aware of your mindset, and your energy, and to cultivate an abundance mindset. 

I have a client who wasn’t getting enough people enrolling in her coaching package, even though she was doing a good job with her marketing and she was getting plenty of discovery calls, maybe 3 a week, or so, which is a good number, especially when you have a premium program, like she does, and she really only needed 2 or 3 people to say yes each month…so she was starting from a good point. What we needed to do was figure out where things were going off the rails in her sales calls, where the leaks or the disconnect was happening. 

So first, we worked on getting her mindset right. Coming at her sales conversations from a place of abundance. Instead of a scarcity mindset.

So some of the the reframes we worked on were saying things to herself like:  

  • if not this client, the next.
  • if it’s not a yes for this client, I can refer 

 And just generally having the energy of not having to “close” everyone.

And she was skeptical at first, of course, but once she really started practicing this, and doing the work on her mindset, sure enough, on her next discovery call she heard YES. And that started her off on a new trajectory of enrolling clients on a regular basis. 

I also remember when I started adopting this for myself. A while ago I had a lot of calls that ended in a NO—I had 8 calls in a row that were a no, and I started going into a bit of desperation and disappointment and discouragement.

Until I checked in with myself, and did some work to rid myself of that scarcity mindset…and started really considering whether I WANTED to work with the person I was on the phone with.

And the first time I felt that internal “NO” this person is not for me…it was incredibly liberating, and I knew I had reached a new level of abundance mindset, when I happily recommended some different resources for this particular prospect…instead of trying with desperation to convince her (and me) that this could work…and I knew something had shifted.

And then, after that…the next 3 calls that I had ended in a YES, in a full payment…and then things snowballed from there. It was quite incredible how that happened, and I really believe it was because of that energetic shift for me when I adopted that abundance mindset.


This isn’t about being bossy or controlling, but it is about setting the tone at the beginning of the call, that you are the leader of the call. It’s important to frame the call, and take ownership. That creates a container of CONFIDENCE for potential clients, who really are looking for someone they can trust. 

So, in the beginning, lay the groundwork. Say things like: I want to learn more about you, I’m excited to learn about you…and to see if we’re a good match and then I’ll let you know if I can help you and how. And then you ask them: so tell me about your business and what it is that you want to achieve?

As the leader of the call, you need to ask this person really great questions … find out information about them FIRST, before sharing details like how much your program costs, or which program will help them the most.

It’s also important to ask questions about their obstacles, and ask them about urgency (as in why now) and their degree of commitment (and rating this on a scale of 1-10 is ideal). I also like to ask people how they think I can help them (and it’s really important to  have them say it in their own words).

And then ask them: what questions do you have for me?

Okay, so moving away from the logistics and practicalities of actual sales calls for a minute, let’s go into tip #4, which is back to mindset…

When it comes to your marketing, your messaging, and promoting yourself, it’s important not to think of it as SELLING….and instead come at it from a place of being of SERVICE.


Always have the mindset that you’re helping people. You’re not forcing yourself on people. You legitimately have something that could help them, and you’re just doing your job to share that tool or service with them, and show them how it can help them.

Of course, this requires that you actually believe you can make a difference, that your service can genuinely help people…but I’m assuming that you do know this, and you do believe this. 

Most health and wellness coaches I talk with have a burning internal sense that they can help people, and it’s genuinely frustrating for them that people just aren’t seeing it. So believing in your service or product is rarely the problem. That part, you’ve probably got that down. 

So it’s a very organic thing that springs from that internal confidence that you can help people…to just take the next logical step and share your service in an authentic way. 

But …this is where most coaches are their own worst enemy. They shrink back, worried that they’re bothering people. That they’re being “sales-y”. And all you’re doing there is, of course, blocking your success…but also? You’re blocking people from having the opportunity to benefit from your service. 

When you share, authentically, whatever you’ve created — if it’s a program, product, or package—you are being of service to people. You’re giving them a chance to purchase from you and work with you. And you need to give them a CHANCE to say yes.

And I really mean making the ask here. Not as an “afterthought” or a “by the way”. But a clear call-to-action, a simple and direct ask to your potential clients. 

If you make it too hesitant, or reluctant, or kind of couched in an apologetic “if it’s not too much trouble” kind of energy, then potential clients are not going to have the confidence to work with you. Or they’re not even going to get the message that you want to work with them. 

Your message needs to be clear, and you need to stand strong in your position of knowing how much value people will get from working with you. It’s almost like having a stance that if people DON’T say yes to you, it doesn’t make any sense, because this can help them SO much.  That’s the energy you want to bring when you’re making the ask, or promoting yourself. 

So my final tip, on the art of sales, is that there really is no “selling” that needs to take place on a sales call, if you’ve done your job.


When people book a call with you, most of the time, they’ve already made their decision prior to picking up the phone. 

Especially if you’ve already been putting out content, and doing a good job of being visible and sharing what you’re all about, and what your philosophy is, and that kind of thing. 

Typically, they just want to have a 1:1 conversation to check in and see if the way you’ve been showing up online, and on social media is accurate. 

If you’ve really done your job well, and been authentic in those places, then they’ve already decided, and the call can just be taking care of a few of the logistic arrangements.

And that is a *beautiful* place to be, to have that excited energy on a call, to have the call be just a matter of confirming details and talking about when to get started. That’s the best — and it should definitely be your goal.

Now, that said…SOME people, even though they WANT to work with you, they want the outcomes your services promise, and they know they do…at the last second, they get in their own head about it and start to get cold feet or whatever, and start to throw up their own obstacles. You know, we ALL do this. And this is where you get to be the skillful coach I know you are. It’s not about “addressing objections” in a sales-centric or “closing the sale” kind of way, it’s just about helping people get out of their own way. And there are a lot of very skilful ways of going about this, although I think I’m going to save that for a future episode. 

For now, it’s enough to know the importance of not needing to “sell” on a call, and that you can really sidestep all that “selling” stuff if you do an excellent job of showing up online, or on social media, on your website, or your videos, or wherever you’re focusing your visibility strategies, and doing your job of authentically attracting the right people. And then you won’t really need to do any “selling” at all. There won’t be any “convincing” that needs to happen because people will already be totally convinced that they want and need to work with you. 


Okay, so there you have it, those are my tips around how to begin to cultivate the art of sales. I hope they were helpful for you. Just remember, as with any art, it takes practice.

Nobody is any good at this at the beginning. We’re all beginners, lacking in confidence. But by continually putting yourself out there, and opening yourself up to those sales opportunities and sales calls…you will get better and better at it. 

And that begins with trying on a new story about you and sales. Instead of saying non helpful stories like “I’m terrible at selling myself” start replacing that thought with something more empowering like “Becoming good at sales is something I can learn, and I’m on that journey to improving my skills right now.” Allow yourself to embrace it, allow yourself to be on that learner’s journey…and enjoy it.


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