8 Things I Wish I Knew In My 20s

Looking back on my 20s feels like opening a treasure chest of lessons. That decade was a whirlwind of excitement, opportunity, and growth, but it also came with its fair share of uncertainty and missteps. 

If I could sit down with my 20-year-old self, there’s so much I’d want to share—advice that could have spared me years of stress, self-doubt, and second-guessing. 

This week, I’m sharing the 8 life-changing lessons I wish someone had told me back then. 

If you’re in your 20s, I hope these insights will make your journey a little smoother, a little clearer, and a lot more empowering.

Let’s dive in!

1. Your Career Path Doesn’t Have to Be Linear

I believed I had to map out my entire career in my 20s: Choose a career (medicine) – finish med school – get a job – and that’s it, sorted for life.

But life doesn’t work that way.

Years into my career as a physician, I realized the traditional path wasn’t fulfilling me. This realization felt terrifying at the time, but now when I look back, I see that it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Because here’s the truth – success isn’t a straight line; it’s a winding path. The detours might seem challenging and negative in the moment but they help you grow and fulfill your true purpose in the long run. 

So, if you’re feeling stuck, think of your career as a story you’re writing. You have complete control over the narrative, and you can change direction at any time! 

2. Confidence Comes From Action, Not Perfection

I used to believe I had to feel completely ready before trying something new. 

For example, when I started public speaking, I obsessed over every word, terrified of messing up. 

But I learned that confidence doesn’t come from perfection—it comes from taking action, even when you’re unsure. 

With every interview and event I did, I felt more and more confident. It was the action, rather than the preparation, that built my self-assurance.

So stop waiting to feel ready and instead take one small step today. You don’t need to have it all figured out; you just need to begin.

3. Failure is Feedback, Not the End

Here’s something you might not know about me – When I launched my first coaching program, it flopped.

At the time, it felt devastating, but that failure turned out to be a turning point. It forced me to analyze what went wrong, identify the flaws, and make the changes needed to succeed the next time.

Over the years, I’ve come to learn that failure isn’t final—it’s feedback. Each setback is an opportunity to learn and improve. 

If you’re dealing with failure right now, reflect on what went wrong, write it down, and use those insights to move forward. uggling to make ends meet and what you can do to ensure there is more left at the end of next month.

4. Embrace the Journey, Not Just the Goal

When I was in my 20s, all I was concerned about was hitting the next milestone—getting into medical school, surviving residency, starting my career. 

I was convinced happiness was waiting at the next finish line. But when I got there, I realized I’d missed so much along the way.

Now, I live by the Yellow Brick Road rule, inspired by The Wizard of Oz. It’s a reminder that the journey is where life happens. 

Think about it; Dorothy’s goal was to reach the Emerald City, but the best parts of her story, like the friends she made and the challenges she overcame, all happened ON the road.

So, the takeaway?

Don’t rush your journey. Instead, pay attention to the moments along the way because that’s where the magic is.

5. You Teach People How to Treat You

I’ll be honest; I spent the best part of my 20s avoiding confrontation and letting people overstep my boundaries.

I wanted to be liked, so I was afraid of upsetting people and losing out on opportunities because of it.

So I stayed silent, but unknowingly, at the time, all it did was teach others that it was okay to disrespect me. 

How did I change this?

By setting boundaries.

If you’ve been tolerating behavior that doesn’t align with your values, start by calmly expressing how you feel. Setting clear boundaries not only teaches others how to treat you but also reinforces your own worth.

6. Romantic Relationships Are a Partnership, Not a Project

In my early relationships, I made the mistake of trying to “fix” my partner. I poured so much energy into changing them that I lost sight of myself. 

Looking back, I see how unhealthy that dynamic was. True love isn’t about rescuing someone but growing together as equals.

Take a moment to ask yourself: does your relationship feel like a partnership, with mutual respect and shared goals? 

If not, you may be viewing relationships as projects rather than partnerships, too.

7. You Don’t Need Everyone’s Approval

Whether it was friends, coworkers, or professors, I used to say yes to everyone to please them. 

My decisions revolved around seeking approval, but no matter how much I got, it was never enough. 

I eventually realized that by trying so hard to please others, I wasn’t fulfilling my own needs. So, I started focusing on what truly mattered to me. 

Every time someone asked something from me or I had to make a choice, I asked myself, Does this decision align with my values? Does it bring me closer to the life I want? 

Making choices based on those answers brought me a deeper sense of freedom and authenticity.

8. It’s Okay to Change Your Mind

Halfway through medical school, I decided I wanted to become a surgeon. 

I worked tirelessly to secure a spot in a competitive residency, even signing up for a grueling elective with one of the few prominent female surgeons in the city at the time. 

But near the end of that elective, standing in the operating room and preparing for another lengthy procedure, it hit me: this wasn’t the life I wanted.

The work itself was fulfilling but the long hours and personal sacrifices didn’t align with the life I wanted for myself. 

Society makes us believe that changing direction signifies weakness or failure, but in reality, it shows growth and courage. Looking back, choosing not to become a surgeon was one of the smartest decisions I ever made.

We are not stagnant beings, and life isn’t static either. If something changes within you and your intuition points you in a different direction, know it’s okay to pivot. 

Want To Know More Life-Changing Lessons For Your 20s?

In this week’s video episode, I share two more things I wish I had done differently in my 20s – advice that could save you years of regret!

Here’s where you can watch:

Now, I’d love to hear from you…

If you’re in your 20s, which of these lessons will you take away and incorporate into your life, starting today?

If you’re not in your 20s, what was the biggest lesson YOU learned that you wished you could tell your twentysomething self? 

Share in the comments below!

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