The 3 “Good” Habits That Quietly Stole 10 Years Of My Life 

Bad habits don’t always look toxic. Sometimes they look responsible, smart, even productive.

People might praise you for them, saying things like “you’re so disciplined,” and “I don’t know how you do it all.”

For years, I lived my life following three “good habits.” They brought me promotions, a good reputation, and a successful career, yet they slowly drained my energy, creativity, and spirit.

At the time, I didn’t realize this was happening. But looking back, there were many signs. 

I was constantly feeling numb, stuck, and restless. I knew I was meant for more, but I couldn’t figure out what that “more” was or how to get it.

If you’ve been feeling this way lately, it’s time to start paying close attention, because you may also be following these seemingly good habits that are quietly stealing your time, confidence, and potential.

So what are these 3 subtly toxic habits and, more importantly, how can you break free from them?

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The Productivity Trap — Mistaking Busyness for Progress

Like many of us, I used to equate busyness with productivity. The more I was doing, the more I was succeeding, right?

Not at all.

Busyness is not the same as progress. In fact, researchers at the University of California found that the average person is interrupted every 11 minutes at work — and it takes 23 minutes to refocus.

So you might feel like you’re busy all day, but you’re spending most of your time getting distracted and recovering from those distractions.

What matters most is how you spend your time. If you’re spending it being distracted or working on all the wrong things, you’ll never move the needle.

And the more time you spend on the wrong things, the more exhausted you become.

But when you start to work on the right things, even if you’re doing far less than before, the needle begins to shift.

The takeaway?

It’s not about checking boxes—it’s about taking meaningful action.

Action step: Try this simple Progress Audit. At the end of the week, ask yourself, “What actually moved the needle toward who I want to become?” The more you do this audit, the more you will start to understand what meaningful action looks like to you.

2. The Overthinking Loop — Mistaking Caution for Wisdom

The very first thing that made me consider leaving medicine was the whisper in my head saying, “Maybe I’m meant for something different.”

I ignored this voice for years, but it grew louder and louder until I realized I needed to address it somehow.

So I created a Google Doc titled “Pros and Cons of Ruining My Life” and started listing the reasons for and against leaving medicine.

Now you might be thinking that’s a smart and productive way to handle the situation. That’s certainly what I thought.

But several hours and twelve pages later, I didn’t feel any clearer about what I wanted; I just felt exhausted.

This is a classic example of the overthinking loop. Creating extensive pros and cons lists and considering every possible scenario feels productive because it gives the illusion of control. 

Psychologists refer to this as intolerance of uncertainty—the need to know exactly how things will turn out before taking action. 

We tell ourselves we’re preparing well for a potential change, but really? 

We are just feeding our fear, draining our confidence, and remaining stuck. 

Action step: Forget the long lists and hours of contemplation. Instead, use the 80% Rule. When something feels 80% right, go for it. Action is what creates clarity, confidence, and momentum, not thinking.

3. The Self-Sacrifice Cycle — Mistaking Self-Neglect for Strength

I used to take pride in doing it all. I put energy into almost everything: work, family, home renovations, and personal projects. However, what I didn’t put energy into was attending to my own needs. 

This type of selflessness can feel noble, especially to us women. However, ignoring your own needs is always a one-way route to exhaustion and illness.

I learned this lesson the hard way shortly after my second son was born.

It started with fatigue and joint pain, which, of course, I ignored. But within weeks, the pain was so severe I could barely walk down the stairs, and I could not neglect myself anymore.

My body had basically gone on strike, and I had no choice but to start caring for myself.

And this story is incredibly common. I know so many women who have had similar experiences. 

Because the truth is, real strength isn’t how much you can carry; it’s knowing when to put something down.

The moment I stopped mistaking self-neglect for strength, everything changed. Not only did my health return, but so did my creativity and my joy.

Action step: Every morning, do a Five-Minute Self-Check. Ask yourself, “What do I need today to feel grounded and well?” Is it movement, setting a boundary, or just giving yourself grace? These tiny check-ins foster self-care and self-trust.

Reclaim Your Time, Confidence, and Energy

Those three habits—busyness, overthinking, and self-neglect—don’t look dangerous. They look responsible, productive, even virtuous. 

But over time, they quietly steal your time, drain your energy, and disconnect you from yourself.

The good news? 

You can take it all back. 

Slowing down, trusting your instincts, and putting yourself first aren’t indulgences, they’re essentials. By making these small adjustments, you can begin living a life that feels aligned, energized, and fully your own.

I break down these 3 subtle habits in more detail in my latest YouTube video and share more actionable strategies for showing up fully in every part of your life:

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And if you’re ready to hit the reset button on your life, I created The Reset, a free 5-day challenge to help you clear mental clutter, regain focus, and reconnect with yourself. 

Each day, I’ll guide you through simple yet powerful tools to reclaim your energy and confidence, so you can finally stop running on empty and start living from a place of overflow!

Resources:

• The Reset Challenge – FREE 5-Day Challenge To Reclaim Your Energy, Focus & Mindset
• The WellPlanned Method – Master Your Goals With The WellPlanned Goal Planner
• My Free Class for Health Coaches: How To Build A 6-Figure Health Coaching Business Using One Signature Program
• Dr. Kim on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drkimfoster/

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