Stop Letting Yourself Down: 5 Steps To Actually Achieve Your Goals

You know what you want. You’ve set the goals, made the vision board, and detailed your entire plan.

So why do you keep slipping back into the same patterns you swore you’d outgrow?

It’s not because you’re lazy, lacking discipline, or flawed.

In this article, I’m going to break down the real reason you keep falling off track. And more importantly, what to do instead.

These are the exact shifts that finally helped me become someone who actually follows through.

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Myth 1: You just need more willpower

We love blaming ourselves for not having enough willpower.

We tell ourselves, “If I just tried harder I’d be unstoppable.”

This is because we see willpower as a long term strategy. But in truth, it’s the opposite.

Willpower can get you through hard moments… but not through months of consistency.

What actually works is identity. Because we don’t act from logic. We act from who we believe we are.

When I was still working as a doctor, I desperately wanted to be someone who wrote every day. 

I set goals, made spreadsheets, and downloaded habits apps… but I still fell off after a few days. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t have a good enough plan. It was that I was operating on the wrong identity.

When I stopped saying, “I’m trying to write more” and started saying, “I’m a writer. And writers write,” everything changed.

Because when something becomes part of who you are, you show up, even on the messy days. 

And that’s the difference. It’s not about becoming better at forcing yourself to do something. It’s about becoming someone who doesn’t NEED to force it.

So choose one identity you’re stepping into this week. It could be something like…

• “I’m someone who honors their commitments.” 
• “I’m someone who finishes what they start.”
• “I’m someone who shows up, even when it’s hard.”

Write it down. Stick it to your bathroom mirror. Say it in the present tense multiple times a day.

Myth 2: You just need better goals

There’s a lot of goal-setting advice out there that encourages us to set huge, bold goals, believing they will scare us into action.

But in reality, they overwhelm us into paralysis.

There’s nothing wrong with lofty goals like “Write a bestselling book” or “Become fluent in five languages,” but the problem is that they’re too big per unit of time.

While ambition is amazing, it can put a lot of pressure on us. And when we feel pressured, we can freeze and get stuck in procrastination and inaction. 

What gets us actually moving towards our goals is setting a tiny daily commitment.

By committing to one tiny action each day, and following it through, we’re giving our brain proof that we CAN actually achieve our goals.

• If you want to write a book, open the doc and write one sentence.
• If you want to work out, put on your shoes and do five squats.
• If you want to become fluent in a new language, learn one new word.

Now I know what you’re thinking; These actions are laughably small. But consistency always beats intensity. This is how you change your identity in bite-sized chunks.

Because over time, the version of you that you’re aiming to become won’t feel like a stretch anymore.

It will feel like… you.

So here’s your action step: What’s your 2-minute version of that big goal of yours?

Myth 3: If you fall off track, you’ve failed

Be honest, how many times have you done this…

You miss ONE workout and suddenly you’re telling yourself:

“Well… I guess I actually hate fitness. Maybe I’ve always hated fitness. Maybe I was born to be unfit. Maybe this is my destiny.”

The truth is, all that happened is we broke our streak, and now we feel guilty and are punishing ourselves.

The problem isn’t the slip-up. The problem is the story we then attach to the slip-up.

We tell ourselves the slip-up proves we’re “not the kind of person who…” And it’s THAT—right there—that makes you quit.

In other words…

People don’t quit because they fail. They quit because they turned one missed day into a full-blown identity crisis.

When I first started learning French, I committed to studying for 15 minutes a day. And it worked… until I missed a day. Then two. Then three.

And instead of saying “life happens,” I went straight into: “See? This is why you can’t stick to anything.”

But then I started using something I now call Rupture → Repair.

Rupture: you break the streak.
Repair: you get back on track without spiraling.

You can do this, too, by creating a one-line repair protocol and mantra, like “When I miss a day, I pick it back up tomorrow, no drama.”

Or something even simpler, like “Pause. Reset. Continue.”

These quick repairs help you get back on track without losing self-belief or self-trust.

Myth 4: Tracking progress will keep me motivated

Trackers, apps, and spreadsheets are great at making us feel like we are making progress. But the truth is, you can track everything and still go nowhere.

What actually builds momentum is tracking identity-aligned actions.

So instead of asking yourself, “Did I lose 5 pounds?”

Ask yourself, “Did I move my body today like someone who values strength and energy?”

Or instead of “Did I finish my book?”

Ask yourself, “Did I act like a writer today?”

The first question creates pressure, while the second one builds proof, and proof reshapes your identity.

So for this action step, pick one behavior to track this week that reflects who you’re becoming, such as “Did I honor my morning routine like someone who respects her energy?”

Instead of focusing on numbers, focus on proving to yourself “this is who I am now” with small but consistent identity-aligned actions.

Myth 5: You just need the right system, app, or routine

We love trying different productivity systems, whether it’s the 5AM Club, Notion dashboards, or Pomodoro timers.

And yet somehow, we still end up ghosting our own goals.

We convince ourselves it’s because we just haven’t found the right system yet. But in reality, it’s that we haven’t built enough self-trust. 

Even the best routine won’t work if you don’t believe you’re the kind of person who follows through.

I learned this the hard way. I had calendars, vision boards, and task managers, but I still didn’t follow through, and every broken promise chipped away at my confidence.

The shift came when I started rebuilding trust by keeping small promises. 

For example, by getting out for a 10-minute walk every day, come rain or shine, I slowly changed my inner dialogue from “You never follow through” to “Actually, I’m someone who shows up.”

So pick one small thing today to do to rebuild trust in yourself, not for results, just to prove: I’m someone who follows through.

Want to see these 5 steps in action?

For a deeper walk-through, watch the full video episode on YouTube. I share more real-life examples, and guide you through exactly how to shift your identity, build self-trust, and create momentum that actually lasts.

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And if you want help putting this all into action, I created a free tool to help.

It’s called The Reset, and it’s a free 5-day challenge with daily prompts, an identity anchor tracker, and tools I use with my paid coaching clients to help shift their beliefs and become the person they deserve to be.

Now I’d love to know.. What identity are you stepping into right now?

Leave a comment below to let me know!

Resources:

• Join my Free 5-Day Challenge: The Reset
• My Free Class for Health Coaches: How To Build A 6-Figure Health Coaching Business Using One Signature Program
• Dr. Kim on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drkimfoster/

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