Want To Become Unrecognizable In 90 Days? Here’s How

You know what you want. You’ve set the goals, made the vision board, and detailed your entire plan.

So why do you keep slipping backHow many times have you tried to change, only to quit as soon as things got tough?

We’ve all done it, myself included… many times.

But the reason we quit isn’t that we cannot change, but because we don’t know what transformation actually FEELS like.

Whether you’re rebuilding your health, starting over in your career, or learning a new language, the process of transformation isn’t just physical; It’s emotional.

There is a clear emotional landscape of a 90-day transformation, and it includes resistance, self-doubt, and boredom, all the things that make you assume it’s not working.

But when you understand the process and know exactly what to expect, you’ll see that it is working, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

When the challenging moments hit, and you want to pivot or walk away, you won’t panic. You’ll keep going, and 90 days later, you’ll be unrecognizable. 

In this article, I’m walking you through the five stages of a 90-day transformation, so you’ll finally understand what personal change looks and feels like!

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Stage 1: The Fantasy vs. The Reality (Days 1–7)

The first few days after committing to change feel incredible.

That spark of clarity you feel? It’s real—you’ve shifted your intention, and your body can feel the relief.

At this point, you’re super proud of yourself for deciding to leave something behind and step into something new.

However, many people mistake this feeling for momentum. 

Things feel easy during the first week because you’re still at the very beginning of your new journey. 

Your nervous system hasn’t been challenged yet. Your old habits haven’t started to push back. You haven’t hit resistance.

Everything still feels possible, so you try to take advantage of this perceived ‘momentum’ and change EVERYTHING at once.

In other words, you run before you can walk.

Then, as soon as the real work begins, the ‘momentum’ vanishes, and you start beating yourself up.

To avoid this, keep the first week of your transformation as simple as possible. Rather than trying to do everything, choose one thing to do well, and keep repeating it.

Stage 2: The First Friction Point (Weeks 2–3)

Weeks two and three are where the fantasy starts to crack. 

That high energy you felt in week one has faded and the novelty has worn off.

Before you know it, you’ve stopped showing up, telling yourself you’ll just hit snooze once, or just skip one workout.

What harm could it do? 

The truth is… a lot.

The moment you stop showing up is the moment your brain starts telling you a different story.

• “I knew I wasn’t disciplined enough.”
• “I always burn out.”
• “This wasn’t the right time.”

The voice sounds rational, so you think it’s a signal to stop, scale back, or pivot to something else.

But really, it’s resistance. It’s your old self testing the new one.

This is where the work actually begins. Because until now, your transformation hasn’t cost you anything. It hasn’t caused discomfort. 

But now your nervous system is pushing back against the change you’re trying to make, and if you don’t understand what is happening, you will let it.

So during this stage, when you feel off-track and unmotivated, don’t retreat.

Keep committing, even if it doesn’t feel exciting. By holding the line, you’ll meet the part of you that’s scared and make it through to the next stage.

Stage 3: The Messy Middle (Weeks 4–6)

By now, you’ve been at it for a few weeks. You’ve shown up. You’ve weathered the first dip. You’ve stayed with it longer than most people do.

But then you enter the messy middle, where you want to blow it all up.

You’ll start convincing yourself that the current way isn’t working and that you need a BETTER plan or a different method that feels fresher, faster, more efficient.

This phase is subtle because it doesn’t look like quitting. It looks like upgrading.

But what’s actually happening is this:

You’ve reached the point in the process where the old version of you is losing its grip and the new version isn’t fully rooted yet.

You’re between identities. Which means you’re also between comforts.

So this stage is constantly up and down. You’ll have good days and then spiral the next day.

And if you don’t recognize this as a normal part of the arc, you’ll interpret it as something being WRONG, that you need to change something.

But if you can stay the course here and keep showing up imperfectly through the chaos, you’ll make it further than 90% of people do.

Stage 4: The Quiet Becoming (Weeks 7–9)

By week 7, something is quietly taking root.

You start doing the thing without overthinking it. You bounce back faster after missing a day. You don’t need as much pep-talk or planning.

For the first time, things feel effortless, unforced, natural. It no longer feels like you’re trying to change; it just feels like you’re living differently.

What’s happening?

Your new identity is starting to feel normal, so your nervous system has begun to relax.

The change will be subtle, and you probably won’t realize how far you’ve come. In fact, you’ll probably downplay it.

But if you zoomed out right now, you’d see that you’re becoming unrecognizable. Slowly but surely, you’re integrating into your new identity.

It doesn’t mean the work is done. But it means the work is landing.

Stage 5: The Click (Weeks 10–12)

By week 10, something has clicked. Not in a big, cinematic moment, but in the way you move through your day.

The way you respond to setbacks has changed. You no longer make the same decisions you used to. You carry yourself differently, even when no one is watching.

Sure, there are still hard days. There are still parts you’re working on. And you are still far from the finish line.

But there’s a difference now:

You trust yourself because you’re anchored in your new identity. 

This is what becoming unrecognizable actually looks like.

It’s not a glow-up. There’s no dramatic before-and-after. 

There’s self-respect, self-trust, and clarity.

And from here, anything is possible. Not because of what you’ve achieved, but because of who you now believe you are.

You’re Not Behind. You’re Becoming

In this week’s YouTube video, I dive deeper into these five stages of transformation, so you know exactly what to expect and exactly how to navigate each stage:

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And if you want a little help getting started, or getting back on track, I’ve created a free 5-day challenge called The Reset to kick off your next chapter.

Now I’d love to hear from you… Where are you in this timeline? The First Friction Point? The Messy Middle?

Leave a comment below and let me know!

Resources:

• Join my Free 5-Day Challenge: The Reset
• My Free Class for Health Coaches: How To Build A 6-Figure Health Coaching Business Using One Signature Program
• Dr. Kim on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drkimfoster/

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