Living Well

How To Be Confident – 6 Powerful Ways To Build Self-Esteem Fast!

May 1, 2024

I’m Kim.
I’m an M.D.-turned-entrepreneur and I’m dedicated to helping you build your dream career + lifestyle. Welcome to my blog, where I write (and podcast) about wellness, business + success!
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Are you constantly doubting yourself or battling with your inner critic?

Do you wish you could approach life confidently and do as you please without worrying what others think?

If so, you’re not alone, as studies indicate that 85% of people worldwide struggle with low self-esteem!

Lack of confidence is something I’ve personally battled A LOT. But after many years of working on myself, I’ve become MUCH more confident. 

In fact, the person I am today is totally different from who I was 10 years ago. And it’s all thanks to the strategies I’ve implemented. 

So, knowing how prevalent low self-esteem is, I want to share with you the tools and strategies that have helped me build confidence. 

Here’s this week’s YouTube video:

Let’s dive straight in…

1. Remember The Spotlight Effect

We tend to believe that the spotlight is always on us. 

If we make a small mistake, we think everyone has noticed. Or if we go out with messy hair we think everyone is judging us.

However, research shows this is not true.

Yes, really, everyone is far too busy worrying about themselves to notice what you’re doing or how you look.

According to psychological research, this is called the Spotlight Effect. Studies show that we typically overestimate how much others notice about us

While we may think everyone is watching us, the reality is most people are too wrapped up in their own thoughts and worries to pay much attention to what we’re doing.

So, the next time you start to get self-conscious or paranoid that everyone is judging or looking at you remember the spotlight effect.

Reminding yourself of this whenever anxiety creeps in can feel incredibly liberating!

2. Silence Your Inner Mean Girl

We all have an inner critic – you know, that voice in your head that tries to shut down your ideas and tell you you’re not good enough?

These self-sabotaging thoughts can be difficult to ignore because they come from within, so we think they must be true.

But let me tell you something – they are not.

What your inner mean girl says is just as untrue as those rumors those mean girls made up about you in high school.

But the difference between real mean girls and your inner mean girl is that the latter is not intentionally trying to hurt you.

Our inner critic tries to shut us down in an attempt to protect us.

Let me explain…

Our primal brains are responsible for survival, so keeping us safe is its sole concern. As what we have been doing up until now has kept us alive, our brains don’t want us to change anything.

So if we try to do something different or take a risk, our primal brain freaks out and sends our inner mean girl in to try to change our minds.

So, one technique for building self-confidence is to practice identifying when the inner critic is present and seeing it for what it is – fear.

As Elizabeth Gilbert says in her book Big Magic, rather than trying to eliminate this fear, we should accept it and let it stay, BUT not let it take the driver’s seat!

3. Create An Alter Ego

You’ve probably heard the term alter ego before. Many celebrities and athletes use it to boost their confidence and get into the right frame of mind before a performance or match.

For example, Beyonce famously created the alter ego of Sasha Fierce to help her overcome her stage fright and show up as the performer she needed to be.

But here’s the cool thing about alter egos – you don’t need to be a celebrity to have one.

Anyone can create an alter ego to help them feel more confident and worthy. 

For example, you could envision yourself as a fearless leader every morning before you go to the office. 

Or you could practice a few power poses before a big presentation or talk.

Alter egos are a way of ‘faking it till you make it.’ They don’t just give us a temporary self-esteem boost; they may actually help us become more confident.

4. Prioritize Self-Care & Self-Presentation

You might know that regular self-care practice improves your well-being, but how does it link to confidence?

The more care, attention, and respect we give ourselves, the better we feel about ourselves. 

Think back to the last time you truly pampered yourself. How did it make you feel? Most likely, you felt like a million dollars!

But while I’m not suggesting you splurge on weekly spa days (unless you want to), engaging in regular self-care activities will help keep your self-esteem high.

And remember, self-care is not just about pampering yourself. It is about nourishing your mind and body by:

  • Eating nutritious food
  • Engaging in regular exercise
  • Prioritizing rest
  • Practicing mindful activities

Taking care of yourself can also involve prioritizing self-presentation, and this is something I find to be extremely helpful in boosting confidence.

This technique is about dressing as the person you want to become. For example, if you want to start a business, consider dressing smartly, as a business owner would.

Research suggests that investing time and effort into your appearance and well-being sends a powerful message of self-worth. Studies show that well-dressed people are more confident and respected by others.

5. Start Validating Yourself

If you genuinely want to build AND sustain confidence, look at where you seek validation and approval.

Most people seek external validation, which means looking to others for approval. 

However, doing this gives your power away, as how you feel about yourself is determined by what others think of you.

But the truth is, your opinion is the only opinion that really matters. So, the only person you should seek validation from is yourself.

So, one potent way to become more confident is to cultivate self-approval.


Firstly, routinely remind yourself that your worthiness comes from within. Repeating affirmations like ‘I love and approve of myself just the way I am‘ can help.

Secondly, celebrate all your wins (big and small), even if others do not see them as wins.

Thirdly, show yourself compassion when things don’t go as planned. Think of how you would treat a cherished friend who experienced a failure. Now, treat yourself in that way, too!

6. Keep Exercising Your Confidence Muscle

Lastly, building self-confidence is a continuous process. It is not something you work on for a while, master, and then that’s it.

Confidence is like a muscle. Everytime you take action to build your self-esteem, you strengthen your confidence muscle. 

But just like building your physical muscles, you must start small and gradually build it up.

You wouldn’t pick up the heaviest weights in the gym on your first workout. So, if you want to become a more confident public speaker, you shouldn’t start by speaking in front of 100 people.

Instead, start by speaking in front of 10, 5, or even one person, then slowly build it up as your self-esteem improves.

Remember, it’s not about how big the action is but how consistently you are taking action. 

If you regularly practice these tools and strategies for building confidence, you WILL see progress!

Final Thoughts

If you want to learn more about these 6 powerful confidence tips, watch the YouTube video, where I dive DEEP into each strategy and explain how to implement them into your life TODAY!

Is confidence something you’re currently struggling with? Have you tried any of these strategies before?

Let me know in the comments!


Looking to take your wellness journey to the next level?

The 3 Secrets For Stepping Into A Meaningful New Career Without Wasting Time Or Money

  • find out why health & wellness coaching is a skyrocketing industry that can provide the freedom and fulfillment you’ve been craving
  • discover the 3 biggest myths about health & wellness coaching that will hold you back (and what the truth is instead)
  • learn the secret sauce for getting amazing results for your clients (and building a profitable business as a wellness coach)

…and more!

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